So, the Oxbridge tour is over. Tammy ran her last few laps as Andrea studiously looked on, ready to take the baton for the Autumn tour.
Taking this quartet into theatre spaces has been pretty disorientating. Swapping the studio walls for black wings and glaring sidelights made me realise how much I had been using the studio to locate myself in relationship to the other dancers and even to remember the steps!
Hovering over the four of us is a stunning set by Sam Collins, I like to call it the ‘god’ light as it lends a heavenly diffused glow to the space. I think our quartet has transferred well to the stage as it has an expanse that still reads well from a distance. The design being fairly stripped back and lit from above is not a huge leap from the environment we created it in.
Watching the other quartet on stage, I slightly miss the intimacy of the studio. The stark theatrical lighting throws shadows over the space and across the performers. It gives it a dramatic edge that makes the audience ask questions about what is taking place rather than trying to make sense of it. The studio showings had the simplicity of a series of raw pencil sketches whereas on stage it has become a more painterly presentation. For me, the theatrics of lights and costume almost encourage the expectancy of narrative conclusion that was never implied in the rehearsal setting.
Our quartet is a real joy to perform. Whilst not easy to construct or to remember initially, once the structure was down and the hard graft done, it became clear that it is a work that has life breathed into it by the very way it is performed; the slightest changes in decision (necessary or playful) have an effect on each of us so that the piece is constantly in flux.
It has been an inspiring and informative creation process, difficult at times, but on reflection, those hard patches held important lessons. And, as is often the way with lessons, they are not always the things you anticipated learning...
- How to not ‘demonstrate’ a formal structure but to exist within it and nudge its edges.
- How to employ dynamic changes in dancing by stumbling across movement, as if it caught you out and then also making clear decisions to move.
- How to invest more of myself in performance by making ‘live’ decisions rather than rehearsing a stream of steps so well to the point of not being in the moment.
- How to engage in the honesty of ‘here and now’ on stage, actively taking in the space and people around me, and avoiding becoming too self-conscious in the process.
- How to negotiate with people more clearly in a process with the knowledge that my opinions are always subjective.
- How to receive advice from other dancers and to recognise when it is simply their aesthetic taste talking.
- How much I love performing! Having previously felt a closer connection to process over performance, this work has rekindled something in me on stage.
The work itself allows for the space to invest awareness in action. Much of the work I have created and performed in the past has completely consumed me in its dense choreography and become a demonstration of steps over performance. The rigour of staying true to where each moment came from and rehearsing this, rather than approximating movement has been a huge lesson.
After 11 years of performing and a long-term ambition to work with Sue, a dream has been fulfilled. Like anything you ponder over for a long period, the reality is a little different to how you had projected it, but as we take our two-month break, I feel stretched, stimulated and full: full of information to take forward as an artist and full of admiration for Sue and each of her incredible collaborative dancers.
